Disclaimer: I in no way deny that the style of both drawing and humour has been directly derived from the most amusing comics at XKCD. Given the Creative Commons licence that the author uses, I am of the opinion that he would take the blatantly obvious similarities as a compliment! I also find it highly unlikely that the author will understand any of these jokes as the topic matter is very very different to his (and that of course is where the humour is), though I'll gladly explain if he wishes to get in touch.
That out of the way, I now present my own sarcastic take on a number of issues I honestly doubt anybody will understand.
Alright, I can't draw for shit. Or write.